Ramblings of a Mom, Wife, Birth Doula, Type 1 Diabetic: Liam's Birth Story

Today is Liam's 1st Birthday. I honestly can't tell you where this last year has gone...all I can say is it has absolutely flown by! I wrote Liam's birth story months ago but have only shared it with Heath and my doula friend Emily. So to celebrate Liam's birthday I decided I would post it for my friends to read. Happy birthday buddy!

Liam, your birth story really begins with your brother and sister’s births. Hayleigh’s birth was a long drawn out induction with an epidural, shoulder dystocia, and almost a week in NICU for unnecessary reasons that could have been avoided. Hayden’s birth I thought would be better, I had more information, I had a plan, and I was going to avoid NICU time. However I still was induced, got an epidural, and that led to your brother moving into the birth canal before he was ready and his cord wasn’t in the right place. This led to my emergency cesarean and my quest for positive birth stories and what I could do to make the next time better. I found many stories of moms being pushed into c sections or choosing interventions that led to more interventions that led to c sections.

I decided (about a month after Hayden was born actually) that I would have a VBAC with you. There was never a doubt in my mind that I could do it. But I knew that I would need support. Before we conceived you I messaged the only doula in our area- Emily Zieser and told her that we would be hiring a doula with our next baby. I really liked Emily from the get go and knew that she would be a great fit for us. At our first prenatal appointment with Dr. Hunter (he was our OB for your brother and sister as well) we discussed VBAC and he said he was on board if that was what I wanted.

This pregnancy was my easiest by far. I was comfortable, content, and not afraid of what was to come. Emily teaches HypnoBirthing and we took her class and read the book. It gave me even more confidence in the fact that my body was made for this, despite the type 1 diabetes, previous cesarean, and difficult first vaginal birth. I kept telling myself, “I’ve got this!” I began to look forward to the beautiful day that you would come earthside and join our family. I think my favorite part of Hypnobirthing is that going back in history…birth wasn’t always painful. It became painful when birth supporters were removed and women began to fear birth. Birth doesn’t have to be painful, it isn’t something to fear. With your daddy, Emily, and our supportive care team I knew we could do this.

Near the end of the 2^nd trimester/beginning of the 3^rd you settled into birthing position and I was very excited! You were facing the right way and not posterior! Hayleigh and Hayden were both born posterior and your brother has the scar to show for it…the surgeon cut his cheek because he was sunny side up. I kept hoping to avoid induction because I wanted to go into labor on my own and avoid Pitocin at all costs since I was going to go through labor with no pain medication. My body started doing practice surges quite often around 36 weeks. At around 37 weeks I actually called Emily because I was having surges every 5 minutes or so. They weren’t super super intense but every now and then I did have to use relaxation breathing with them. Turns out they went away by morning but I was excited because my body was doing its job getting ready for your arrival.

At 38+3 weeks I had an ob appointment. Dr. Hunter was hoping to strip my membranes then to get my body going towards labor on its own so I could avoid induction. Being type 1 diabetic they typically induce mamas at 39 weeks to avoid any complications. Unfortunately my cervix was still closed so he was unable to strip membranes. That was on a Monday. I would be 39 weeks on Friday so I assumed that would be the day. Fortunately Dr. Hunter had a very intense surgery that Friday that was requiring a lot of doctors so he asked if I minded waiting until Monday…of course I didn’t! He said it would give my body more of a chance to do things on its own and I couldn’t have agreed more. (Looking back I wish I would have asked to just continue to monitor you and see what my body would do but hindsight is 20/20 I suppose.) I decided to relax the rest of the week and spend some snuggle time with Hayden and Hayleigh. Your dad decided to go hiking with the kids at Starr’s Cave on Friday and asked if I wanted to go. It sounded fun and I hoped it would get some things going. It was a gorgeous fall day, crisp and clean and the leaves were beautiful. Your dad, Hayleigh, and Hayden went up to Crinoid Cavern…I did not because I was a bit afraid to do that kind of climbing at 39 weeks pregnant. I helped your brother over a log and as I was climbing over it I felt a bit of a lurch in my belly. I wasn’t sure what you were doing but I’m thinking this may have been when you flipped posterior. That night we went to Wendi and Travis’s for a “last night out for a while” dinner. The next day we went to Big Hollow and hiked again. We wanted to soak up the last beautiful fall days before it turned off cold and bitter for the winter. I was having regular surges during this walk and was hoping things might continue.

By the time Sunday rolled around I was still having surges but nothing intense and they didn’t pick up. So we just relaxed. At this point I was convinced you were posterior because of where you were now kicking. I was upset and had a period of self-doubt. Your dad talked me through it and told me I could do it. I was scheduled to be induced on Monday and I was disappointed I wasn’t going to get to do it all on my own. I ate the rest of the labor cookies Emily made for me and fell asleep doing the Rainbow Relaxation track from our Hypnobirthing CD.

Monday we woke up at 5 am to get everything finalized and say good bye to Hayleigh and Hayden. Grandma Dee was staying with them until HJ went to school and Papa Bill got off work to take over. We met Emily and headed up to Iowa City. As we checked in I was surprisingly relieved I wasn’t in the biggest birth suite that I had labored in with Hayleigh and Hayden. I think I just liked that it was a clean slate from the other room. The doctor came in and she happened to be one of my doctors I had while in labor with Hayden. She was on board with my birth plan and completely supportive of my desire to VBAC. I told them that I thought you were posterior and they brought in an ultrasound to make sure you were head down. You were head down but sure enough your little face was right there. She checked me and I was dilated to a stretchy 3! MY BODY DID IT! I DILATED ON MY OWN! I had never done this before and it was such a triumphant moment for me.

We decided to place a foley bulb and try nipple stimulation to see if we could ramp up the surges that I was already having. I was having surges but they weren’t getting any more intense. Emily and I walked the halls while Heath did some editing on his computer. I wanted to get things going on my own, I was afraid they were going to start pushing interventions. I decided to get in the shower for a bit mostly for something to do and I felt like I wasn’t being productive. The shower did help with surges I could feel them coming a little bit more. At around 2 pm the doctor came in and asked if I would be ok with starting a low dose of Pitocin to get things moving. I told them I was ok with that as long as I decided when to turn it up so I could listen to my body. They were ok with that so we started it. I’m not sure our nurse quite knew what to think of my requests…she wasn’t really on board until Emily had the idea to put my birth plan on the stand with the computer (it was in my file but I don’t think she saw it). She read it and then was much better with us. She also tried to tell me that you would have to go to the nursery to have your blood sugars monitored. This was the absolute one thing I wanted desperately to avoid and I made that known. So the doctor had the pediatrician team come in to talk to me. They said that it was standard procedure to test babies of type 1 diabetic mothers in the nursery after birth. I told them that I wanted you to stay with me so I could nurse you on demand to avoid the low blood sugars that they were worried about. They decided that since it was so important to me they would see if the nurse could test you in my room. I was fully prepared to tell them I have been diabetic for 23 years if you won’t test my son IN my room then I can test him myself! But luckily we didn’t end up having that argument and it was settled. After that stress I decided I would try to nap before things got more intense.

When I woke up surges were picking up and Emily had me doing some positions to see if we could turn you back to the anterior position. I really just felt like walking so I’m pretty sure we ended up walking several miles in that little circle! Soon it was dinner time and I ordered some food and we kept walking. By the time it got here the surges were getting more intense but I was still able to eat, walk and talk through them. However about halfway through eating I decided I couldn’t eat anymore and needed to MOVE! So again we went walking. Soon I was having to stop and breathe through my contractions. Emily and your daddy were great company and several times people said I was far too happy and comfortable to be in labor. At this point (and many other points) I was grateful to have Emily there. Just her presence gave me the confidence that I was doing this and things were going to go great. We went back to the bed to try positioning again to get you to flip. While in what I call the superman pose surges really picked up intensity. I knew at this point things were really happening. One of the doctors came in and asked if it was ok if he checked me. He said that if I hadn’t made any progress that I would need to turn the Pitocin up. At this point it had only been turned up to 7 (as a reference with Hayleigh and Hayden it was turned up to the upper 20s-30ish). I told him things were most definitely going on but he could go ahead and check me. He did and I was at a 6 and my bags were bulging. He asked if I wanted him to break them and I told him no…they would do it on their own. Sure enough not too long after I felt the pop and warm gush that I knew meant my waters had released. At this point I looked at Emily and asked her if I was far enough to get in the tub. She said yes and went to get it ready for me and Heath helped me breath through my surges.

Once in the tub I tried sitting like I normally would in the tub but that just NOT cutting it. I had to be on my hands and knees. At this point I really focused and in my “birth world” and was not very aware of anything going on around me. I know your daddy was by my head rubbing me and helping me breath. Emily, bless her heart was putting pressure on my lower back which was amazingly helpful. I had my eyes closed and pictured myself in a green warm grassy meadow. Which is funny because during our Hypnobirthing classes I really felt like this would help me the least. But there I was using the technique. And then before I knew it I was feeling the urge to breathe you down. I knew I couldn’t deliver you in the tub but I knew you were still high so I listened to my body and began to gently breathe you down. I was nervous about this part from class because all I’d ever done is pushed when I was told to push. But it was much better doing it this way! It felt good to breathe you down when my body told me to. I think you began to turn sometime in this time because I could feel some twisting going on. Emily encouraged me to listen to my body and if it was telling me to breathe you down to go ahead and do so. At some point the nurse must have come by the door and realized what I was doing because she said in a shocked voice “Is she pushing? SHE’S PUSHING! You have to get out of the tub!” I really didn’t think it’d be possible for me to move at that point.

Emily and Daddy helped me out of the tub and slowly but sure I made my way to the bed between surges. At this point I was the most thankful that Emily was there. I was convinced I couldn’t move another step (why was the bed so far from the bathroom?!), another surge was coming and she grabbed my face, put her forehead against mine and breathed through that surge with me. This simple act gave me the strength to walk the rest of the way to the bed. I managed to get on the bed and laid on my side. I’m not sure how much time passed but it seemed that my surges slowed a bit here. I began to feel the need to breathe you down again and began to do so. The doctor kept asking me to lay on my back but there was no way on earth I could do that and I knew it wouldn’t be good for either one of us so I simply told him, “No.” every time he asked. Your daddy laughs about it and said the doctor wasn’t sure what to think of me, all calm with my eyes closed, simply responding “No.” It definitely wasn't like what you see in the movies of women with no pain medications. I wanted to hold one leg up so I was in a sort of squat on my side so someone must have gotten a squat bar on the bed. Daddy also told me the doctor was freaking out about breaking the bed down. I don’t remember much of this part but I guess he did get it broken down and was happy. I think he was a newbie or had never had a mom who didn’t want to push on her back. Anyway at this point I was very focused on breathing you down. It came to a point where my body wasn’t wanting to do the easy breathing down though…there was a lot of oomph behind it! Soon you were crowning and then you were here. They placed you on my chest and there you stayed. You were beautiful, perfect. I looked at your daddy and back at you, kissed you, and said, “I did it!”

You were born at 1:01 am on November 5, 2013 weighing 7 lbs 13.6 oz and 21 inches long. I would have liked to wait until you crawled to the breast to nurse on your own but because we were worried about low blood sugars I put you to nurse not long after and you latched on like a champ! You nursed for a good while and we stared at one another. It was so peaceful and wonderful. I never got that moment with Hayleigh and Hayden and it was so healing and empowering to have finally gotten it. Soon Emily left for home and everyone let us alone for a while. We sent out the announcement that you were here to Papa, Grandma, Hayleigh, Hayden, and our close friends and family. In the morning Papa Bill brought Hayleigh, Hayden, and Grandma Dee to meet you. Hayleigh was so excited and Hayden wasn’t quite sure what to think of you. Josh and Kelsey also came to see you. We were released from the hospital to go home the evening of the 6^th.